Kazakhstan Round 2 - Roltrab is echt moeilijk

22/11

View of Almaty

Today after acquiring our Chinese visa from our lady Miss Liu we had organised to travel from Bishkek to Almaty. With prior planning we had managed to pay for the one car  to take us door to door; which is quite a treat in Central Asia. With no hiccups at the border, largely thanks again to the touch ball in our hand we soon arrived in Almaty. As we hit the outskirts though the taxi driver tried to extort us albeit not very hard and got us to 145 Kurmagazy st. Using the broken English directions from the hostel we had a bit of trouble finding the place but after placing a call to the owner we were met by a maintenance dude who took us upstairs and settled us in. It was a  funny place but awesomely comfy. After only a short travel day we had energy to burn to we headed our- first in search of food then a party. With pizza in our bellies we headed to a small beer bar called Shtabe which is somewhat of an Almaty institution.  A night that was to consist of a couple of beers soon turned into buying our own bottle of vodka, shotting that til it was done and then making friend with some 50 yo Kazakh dudes who kept the vodka coming.   3 bottles of vodka between us and we were ready to make friends in the form of a Canadian couple who were also keen for a drink. Inviting them to our table we soon realised they too were staying at apple hostel which excited us; this meant we were assured of getting home. Seeing that we were beaten by the 50yo Kazakhs in our game of vodka consumption they offered to take us home. Somehow arriving home at the hostel Harro then proceeded to get in a verbal with a fellow dorm resident over our beds. At that time, we knew it was time to shut up and sleep.  

23/11

Naturally, we woke up with a super hangover. We struggle to move but eventually get out of bed and head to the common room where the Canadians and other residents of the hostel were already having breakfast. Moving slowly from bed directly to foetal position on the couch, they begin to tell us what exactly happened the night before. According to them, after leaving the bar we were asked by police for our passports to which we didn’t reply but instead just kept walking then through the local park, Tristan and I had a full on snowfight. After surviving the snowfight I then decided it would be fun to slide down the apartment building driveway face first. With these stories, our fellow dorm resident with which we had an argument with the night before introduced himself- Andrej the Macedonian-Australian travelling with two Dutch girls, Viola (his girlfriend and Tessa, her bff. We soon apologised for our behaviour but he soon said everything was cool simply because he appreciated our efforts to make a party. As we tried to focus with a coffee in hand the first item on our agenda would be to register. So after getting cleaned, as a group of 5 we headed off to get registered. With no worries at registration we took the trio to the travel agent to get tickets for the almaty-urumqi train. Then after hearing good things about the Almaty Opera House we headed there to see if anything on the program enticed us. After being told that the season for both ballet and opera had finished we were left trying to find a party. And with experience in partying we guided our new friends to Shtab. A bottle of vodka there and we were onto the next place. Bar Chukotka was the establishment we found. Another bottle of vodka there and after being accosted by a Kazakh girl, Julia (a girl that became affectionately known as borderline girl) we decided to try somewhere else. Nowhere else going so we were taken back to Bar Chukotka for another bottle of vodka. After dancing with a what can only be described as a diverse crowd to some shit music we were out of there and heading home.

24/11

F. Batts Lord of the Ice

Convinced by the girls to whip up a good brekkie, Andre was over the stove by 10am cooking pancakes. After getting our fill of pancakes and coffee we decided we would suss out the Medeu Ice Rink, the highest altitude ice rink in the world located 30 minutes outside Almaty. A bus ride later we were soon strapping on the skates and doing laps of the ice rink to a Rihanna soundtrack. But an hour and a half of skating was more than enough so we decided we would head back. On our walk home from the bus station we walked back some huge computer gaming complex filled with Kazakhs. Seeing that this was obvious what the Kazkah youth did on their weekend we decided to join them- for a mini tournament of FIFA 2013. Then we started the walk home to start demolishing the vegetable curry that the girls had been whipping up while we were playing Fifa. After awesome dinner we played a bit of shithead before hitting the sack.

Medeu Ice Rink

being Australian OS makes you a celebrity

Andrej being a nerd

25/11

Zelyony Bazaar was our focus for today and it didn’t disappoint. The 5 of us entered a huge hall of as much food as you could think of ranging from fruit and veg, nuts and fruit, horse meat and lambs heads to elderly Korean ladies selling Kimchi and countless other salads. After a quick shashlyk we headed for coffee to warm us up. A quick coffee soon turned into a couple of vodkas and an orange and mint flavoured shisha- a great way to bond with our 3 new friends. With the girls leaving us with the shisha to go to the Hamam we sat around and bonded further before it was time to head home. For me and Harris this meant a quick detour to the supermarket as we agreed to return last nights favour and cook a dinner for 5. After dinner, we sat down for a movie. And as a film connoisseur Andrej suggested we should watch Oliver Stone’s new film Savages. 5 minutes in we were all of the opinion that we were in for 2 hours of shitness- and we were right! The shitness of savages became a running joke for the next few days.

Bazaar

26/11

With the train leaving at midnight tonight we were left to kill a whole day. We agreed that a great way to kill a day would be to visit the Kazakhstan National Musuem. And in Central Asian style, after being touted the best museum in Central Asia, it was fairly average. 3 levels of average museum induced hunger pain so we headed to our trusty option Kafanat. Then we decided to roll home to pack our stuff, organise some dinner and relax before our journey to the train station. This however emerged as Andrej’s chance to redeem himself with some good movies. Red Dog was first up and then Hanna followed. A good choice to start but a freaking amazing choice was second- everyone go and watch Hanna! Soon enough though we were at the train station and settling into our kupe’s. Quick chats were had before we all jumped into our hard sleepers.

Off to our 31hour train to China

27/11

We awoke and were ready to pass the time with more celebrity heads, shithead and robust conversation. But as it turned early afternoon and we approached the Kazakh-Chinese border we were disturbed by first immigration police. It was here that we ran into problems. As the two of us handed our passports over to policeman we were told that both our registration certificates and customs forms lacked stamps which proved our registration. With Andrej doing his best to translate the policemans Russian he soon gave up which left the policeman searching the carriage for another English-Russian speaker. He found a 30 yo Kazakh proficient in both and our lifesaver Mainur. As she kindly explained the whole situation on the side of the policeman and then explained our issues with this whole problem we were left to understand that the policeman would call Almaty to check at the central office if we were registered. If we weren’t we would have to pay $100 USD each but if we were we would be free to go and get back on the train. Complicating the matter further was that the 100 USD would have to be paid officially at the bank (unusual for central asia) but the train was scheduled to stop at the Kazakh border town at 430; if it was late the bank would be closed which would leave us not able to pay the money and hence stuck in Dostyk waiting for the next train to Urumqi.  So as we approached Dostyk we agreed that we would do absolutely anything in our power to get back on this train to Almaty today. With Mainur with us we conveyed this to her but as she posed the possibility for a bribe to our policeman he informed us that the chance of a bribe had passed and now this whole fine issue was completely above board. This meant our only hope of getting back on the train was to go to the bank now, change and withdraw our money and get ready to pay the fine and hope that the Almaty office would call back to tell us we were registered. As Harris waited in line to change money I headed to the ATM to withdraw money and as I was standing at the ATM fighting through its obscure instructions Harro came in to tell me that the  office called to tell the policeman we were registered. With this information the policeman called the border police to tell them that our exit had been approved and then gave Mainur his phone number to call if there were any problems. With his assurances we headed back to the train station and waited for the train to come back after changing its gauge. Passing the time we decided to buy a bottle of vodka to celebrate the success in this ordeal and buy a box of chocolates for Mainur to thank her for her help. As we jumped back on the train we cracked the vodka and whipped open the post it notes to indulge in a multicultural game of Celebrity Heads. Then as we successfully navigated the Kazakh border we were onto the Chinese border. And as if the day couldn’t get any worse or more stressful we were questioned and then searched by Chinese border officials before they turned to the table where our Chinese Lonely Planet was sitting and grabbed it- saying they had to take it. The dutchies Lonely Planet was also taken. This is apparently because Taiwan is shown on the map as a different country which China believes is it not. This latest event left us drained and shattered- bed was our only respite. 

Finlay, Andrej and Caity Pooz

Tessa and us celebrating not having to pay $200

Kyrgyzstan - Miss Liu and the Brokeback Mountain

09/11

Sary Tash to Osh

Jump in the seemingly family car heading to osh, 4 of us in the back seat, old dude nearly dead, driver driving slower than both our mums but granted it was through winding roads with cattle and horses to contend with, but we had already been driving for a while so we were keen to get to our destination asap and get out of this car with 4 of us squished in. 3 hours later we were in osh, and after negotiating the dollar-som exchange rate and establishing which street we had been dropped, we were off walking to osh guesthouse. Good lonely planet directions led us straight to the guesthouse. 2 beds available so we ate them up and established ourselves in the guesthouse, dumping our stuff and having a shower- our first for 4 days. Then our thoughts turned to dinner and on recommendation of guesthouse staff we headed out to Uyghur restaurant. Laghman bread and tea for 5 bucks all up! Back to guesthouse to meet the German girl in our accommodation, then it was Treme before bed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                         

10/11

The night before we had decided to stay a day in Osh after hearing there were a couple of things to do- additionally we wanted to stay somewhere that had a shower for 2 nights! SO first stop was the Osh bazaar- rumoured to be one of the best in Central Asia. A couple of hours through the market- fresh food, chinese clothes and souvenir and then we headed to Solomons Throne – rumoured to be a place where the Prophet Mohammed once prayer.  A great view of the city, a couple of photos, a go on the rock slide and we were back down to get lunch and back to guesthouse making use of wifi and chilling out. Then we were greeted by two English and one Belgian cyclists looking for somewhere to stay, after being told they couldn't stay they were still keen to gather some information from the Pamir Highway and Tajikistan so agreed to meet us back at the guesthouse at 6 30 to grab some dinner. Then our old friends from Tashkent- Mark and Christie from Sydney- rolled in. After settling in they too were in for dinner so as a group of 7 we headed again to the Uyghur restaurant for some Laghman and tea and bread and some good chats. Then we decided to head down the road for a couple of beers with the cyclists then wishing them well and passing on details for when they might reach Australia. Soon we were back at the guesthouse packing our stuff, readying ourselves for our trip to Bishkek the next day

The Osh Markets

Fertility Slide

11/11

In typical Central Asian fashion the car was late as they were looking for another passenger but it eventually arrived with only 3 passengers leaving us some great space in the back seat. Abdurnoor, the hostel’s boss walked us out the car and wished us well and strangely un-Central Asian like assured us he would be accountable for any problem with the taxi. But we had no problems as driver and passenger with albeit limited English were still great fun. On our way to Bishkek, we stopped for laghman for brunch, tea and snickers for afternoon tea and then on to Bishkek even organising for Ainura, Max and Sophie’s PA to meet us  and take us to the apartment that they had kindly welcomed us to use while we were in Bishkek. At the apartment we put our stuff down and then were whisked away by Ainura on  a tour of important local landmarks including supermarket where we bough pelmeni for dinner, internet café etc. Dinner- pelmeni with Smetana and tomato sauce- and then treme left us knackered after some huge days in cars

12/11

Up and about, get internet and breakfast and head to Miss Liu to submit our Chinese visa application, after long chats with her son and Miss Liu herself we filled out form. But soon enough, we were told to get new passport photo. So her son, on the orders of his mum, took us to the photo shop on his way to university. Then we headed back to her office with the new photos and before long our visa application was submitted. But before we headed out the door she informed us their may be a problem with the beard so she said we would have to come back at 3pm Wednesday to find out whether they would have to go! From her office, it was off to beta stores to investigate what all the fuss about, got lunch while there and walked home in the freezing rain. Then decided it was pasta for dinner as we could finally cook for ourselves again- first time since baku, pasta, beer, and james bond

Laundry time at Max's

13/11

After torrential rain all yesterday we awoke to see the previously dreary Bishkek blanketed in snow, a real treat for us. Although I have a 16kg backpack it only contained one pair of pants which baffled Finn for the amount of conservative muslim countries we have visited. So it was time to get a second pair and off we went to Vefa centre to get some sweet Zara’s—oohhh yeeaaahhh. An Argentinian girl we met in Tashkent had some amazing knitted Kyrgyz socks which we had to have so the quest started with Tsum, no luck. Back home for a tuna and pea risotto, double treme and dinner

Bishkek in the snow!

14/11

Today was D-day for our beards, and yet again the Chinese had us by the balls/beards. If by 4pm they had not called Miss Liu our beards would be spared. We sat in her office from 3-4pm and endured an hour of frustrating conversation about Burana tower and how it was the best place in Kyrgyzstan. Later Max described it as a poor reconstruction of a chimney stack that was half the size of the original where the local Tokmok youths hang out to drink vodka. Four o’clock ticked over and we were relieved that no call came through, keeping the beards baby!!!!

To celebrate we needed a beer and Metro pub provided a great Baltica draught. This was a classic expat hangout full of American soldiers that worked at the nearby base. A young, loud and very drunk American fella saw us and came over for a chat to spill extracts of his life story. Some consisted of marrying a Kyrgyz girl who recently ran away from him. And how he went to primary school with Beyonce and that they met years later in a club while out for his birthday. Jay-z was there with her and turns out Jay-z and him shared the same birthday so they all partied together. After enough tall stories it was time to hit the hay.

15/11

Our Chinese visa was going to be ready in five days so we decided it was time to get amongst Kyrgyzstan. The lonely Planet talked of horse riding, trekking and even skiing so we set out wandering Bishkek in the freezing cold to find a tour company. After 3 hours of walking and only finding two tour companies plus one army barracks, all of which could not provide us with any activities. A little defeated we called it a day.

16/11

It was pouring with rain in Bishkek, again but we were determined to find a tour company that would actually take us to do something. Amazingly the first place we found was super helpful, ITMC Tien Shan. Asel the lady working there gave us options, prices and even tea! We took Asel up on the offer to go to her family’s horse ranch about two hours out of Bishkek and teach us how to ride horses, true Kyrgyz style. We decided to wait for the weather to clear and locked it in for Sunday.

Dinner for Harros

17/11

Our quest for knitted socks today continued with a trip to caravan art stall and a really cool trinket store called Tumar. Both failed to produce any socks but did prove useful for a few other treasures.

18/11

Asel and our driver picked us up early and got on the road to Shamsy Valley where her parents had their ranch. The Krygyz people are traditionally herders and the horse is like a national symbol for them so most people can ride one. We arrived and were introduced to her family; mum, dad, brother (Norbek) and sisters kids. Norbek saddled up the horses and presented them to us as if we knew what to do. Asel jumped on her horse and we both stood there looking at our two horses not knowing what to do. I said to her that we had never ever ridden horses before (very strange for a Kyrgyz to here) and she said easy; pull back the reins to stop, pull left for left and right for right, then kick it to make it go. With those simple instructions we mounted the horses and rode off feeling like real drovers.

Norbek and Asel took us through the valley and to a beautiful forest. Mind you it was about -5 degrees and it was high time to head back to the house for some lunch. Asels mum whipped up a storm in her one roomed home and between her mum, Finlay and I we bonded over a bottle of vodka. Wearing our Russian blanket we set out for another go on the horses. Now that we felt a bit more confident/adventurous we told Norbek that we wanted to go fast. He whipped our horses and before we knew it both our steeds were galloping along at full speed. This was an amazing feeling although we both really had no idea how to properly sit on the horse and knew we would be super sore tomorrow. Thanking Asel’s family we headed home to delicious two minute noodle dinner.

Finlay Brokeback Mountain Style

Asel our guide

The little munchkins

19/11

After our adventures of yesterday and walking like a cowboy we decided to take it easy. Finding the comfort of a warm coffee shop we watched the world go by until it was an acceptable hour to head to the Metro pub. Not much going on there today, although they did have a special TV channel made for American soldiers which luckily enough broadcast NFL, Falcons vs Ravens. Max turned up at the apartment late with Sophie after a long and dangerous trip from Osh to Bishkek. The road was now all snowed over and they had been rear ended twice by drunk Kyrgyz drivers. Sophie was heading home to the UK early the next morning so Max suggested that we head to the Hyatt for brunch tomorrow.

20/11

Max took us to the Hyatt today for some lunch and tea. The tea was delicious as his TracingTea company supplies the Hyatt. He informed us that a couple of reasons why he hangs out in the lobby of the Hyatt on a semi regular basis is not just for the free WiFi but you can determine which politicians are still in power as they wander through the hotel lobby hand in hand with their mistresses. This seemed a little strange but a lot of the politicians are in and out of power every 3-6 months so you have to keep your finger on the pulse if you want to know whos who in the zoo. Having lived and worked in Kyrgyzstan for four years Max as always gave us a colourful insight into the strange and corrupt world that was of one of the most liberal Central Asian countries; burning down the ministry of justice four times so that your criminal case disappears, to the “special” role description of a Kyrgyz secretary. While sharing travel stories an Iranian girl passed by and asked us if we had a cigarette, Max ever the English gentleman obliged and then we asked her to join us. She had only been in Bishkek for a week, preparing a report on natural disasters in Kyrgyzstan. The conversation turned to us and she asked about our beards and if we were Muslim. When we replied no she looked very relieved and explained that when she walked into the lobby and saw us, a chill went up her spine. Two western looking guys with beards, she thought that we had come to Central Asian and converted to extremist sect of Islam. We all had a bit of a laugh and Fin and I were quite happy that our beards now 1. looked the part and 2. struck fear into the hearts of everyday people, what a boss beard! After a long day of pretending to be a high class expats sitting in the lobby of the Hyatt we returned home and whipped up a feast for dinner.

21/11

Although our stay in Bishkek wasn’t the most eventful we did give the coffee culture a thorough test. Today we tried one last one, Vanilla Sky. Coffee came with gratis cheese cake which helped and Finlay awarded this the best coffee shop in Bishkek. Our Chinese visa was ready so post coffee we saw Miss Liu and she delivered! The last visa of our journey was finally glued firmly in our passports. Surprisingly it was time for another celebratory beer and a few games of stick ball. We then arranged through Kyrgyz Concept a shared taxi to take us to Almaty, Kazakhstan tomorrow. For our last night in Bishkek we cooked Max a homely stew and drossed all things travel, before heading off to bed and preparing for Kazakhstan. Thanks again Max and Sophie for our stay!

On our way to Kazakhstan!